Aging Is A Privilege-Michelle’s Story
Michelle: 1980-2024This is a heavy feature but I believe there is so much wisdom we can learn from a beautiful soul. Michelle left this earth on August 7, 2024. She had a profound impact on everyone around her. I am one of those people. I had the honor of photographing Michelle for the 40 OVER 40 Campaign. Her battle with cancer grabbed ahold of me as I saw her fighting with grace and joy. After the campaign, I created a magazine with an interview from each woman. Her answers for the interview and our time together will stick with me forever and I hope they will for you too. Michelle spoke about how short life is and how we give attention to things that dont deserve our attention. Taking the time to read about my time with Michelle and continue to pray for her husband and daughter, along with so many others that dearly miss her.
When I asked Michelle what her favorite thing was about her age was she said, “At 42 I feel like I am finally content in life. I no longer strive to be anything but myself and I surround myself with people who love me for me. I avoid drama, focus on family and God and being the best person I can be.” And being herself was exactly what we all needed because she was loving, joyful and selfless (along with so many other qualities).
It’s a broad question when I ask women what has shaped them into who they are today. Some open up more than others. Some have a very defining moment. Some have just been through many valleys but are able to look back on them with gratitude because of the lessons they learned. Michelle said, “I had a great childhood but adulthood has been hard.” She expanded in some areas that shaped her and made her question her self worth. She continued, “I married again in 2011 to an amazing man who thinks I hang the moon and treats me like a princess. We have a beautiful little girl who is 10 years old and my whole world.” The joy radiated when she spoke of her husband and daughter. I’m so thankful we were able to do photos with her daughter during the session.
In 2021, life threw another curveball. Michelle was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. The prognosis was not good, with doctors giving her only a 10% chance of surviving five years. The diagnosis was crushing, and the physical toll of surgeries and chemotherapy was immense. She felt herself aging more quickly, her body weaker, and her ability to stay active with her family limited. Yet, even in the face of such an uphill battle, Michelle stood firm.
Why? She said, “I serve a BIG God who does mighty things that the world of medicine can't understand. He put me on this path for a reason and I am excited to see what that is. I believe in healing and I have faith that my God can do anything but I will praise Him, even if he doesn't, because He deserves it. If you don't know him please come talk to me and let me introduce you!” I will praise Him even if He doesn’t heal. Happiness is based on circumstances. Joy isn’t. Michelle had joy. And she understood that grief and joy can coexist. The conviction I felt as I worked with Michelle was strong. The example she led for her daughter was inspiring. She had every reason to complain, be angry, be bitter, or just be a grouch. And I am sure she experienced all of those emotions. However, she didn’t let them define her.
Michelle knows what it means to fight for the chance to grow older, to embrace the imperfections as part of the beauty of existence. To every person, she says, “Aging is a privilege that we are not guaranteed. I am fighting for the chance to age! Embrace who you are enjoy life while you have it. Surround yourself with people who love you for you and just be kind. Kindness is the best kind of beauty.” I remember feeling like I had been gut punched when she said, “Aging is a privilege…I am fighting for a chance to age.” What a gift it is to wake up everyday. Even in the valleys. Even in the darkness.
She went on to say, “Those extra wrinkles are from laughing with your family and your children. Those extra pounds are enjoying birthdays and holidays. Life is about more than looks. It's about loving who you are in the body that you have.” We are living in a world that has standards we CANNOT reach. It’s never enough. Michelle spoke with confidence because she was facing what Tim McGraw sings, “Live like you were dying.”
When women ask about the campaigns I offer, they will sometimes say, “I don’t have a story like all of those women.” And that’s just not true. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison in every area of our life and that’s true even when we reflect on what we have walked through. I asked Michelle what she would say to those women. “We all have battles in life. Some are big and some are small but they are battles none the less. We all fall down but it's how we get back up that matters. Each time we stand up we become stronger and more confident in our abilities and we start to see ourselves in a new way and the next time we are harder to push over and each time we gain a little more momentum and strength.”
What you have walked through may resonate with someone else. You never know what battle someone is walking through. There is a time and place for sharing your story. Trust has to be built. Through these sessions, women get the chance to share their story in a unique way in hopes it reaches even one person that needs it. I know that was Michelle’s prayer.
I was so thankful we got to pamper Michelle for this session. We talked about the physical changes she had experienced. The pain. The surgeries. The chemo. The fatigue. I just wondered how she managed to even get out of bed each day. But she did. She continued to show up for her family and for others.
When I asked her about the portrait experience she said, “This campaign gave me the chance to feel beautiful in a time where so much was happening that made me feel otherwise. It gave me a break from reality and allowed me to let loose and have fun. Jessica is amazing at making you feel like the most beautiful, special, woman in the world. She gave me the most amazing portraits to display and some day leave behind as memories and for that I am forever grateful.”
Like ALL women, she felt insecurities coming into the session. She was always the one behind the camera and definitely was not used to being the center of attention plus sharing her story in a vulnerable way. However, like ALL the women I have photographed, through the course of the session she gained confidence. She embraced who she was and modeled that for her daughter.
I was so excited for the reveal. Of course the images were stunning and I just prayed she would see herself the way I saw her through my camera. She said, “The photos are so beautiful. I dont have a lot of photos of me. I definitely don't have any like these! When I look at them I see a woman who is flawed yet beautiful, a mother whose body may not be perfect but with overflowing love for her child. I get to see me from a new perspective.”
Michelle obviously knew there was the chance these photos really would be left for her family as memories. I am so thankful we had the day together. I am so thankful I was able to sit across from Michelle and hear the wisdom she so graciously gave. I am so thankful there are joyful photos of her individually and with her daughter. I am so thankful she shared her story. Obviously we wish Michelle was still here and we grieve her.
If you are reading this story, fighting your own health battle or facing it with a loved one, I hope you find peace and encouragement in Michelle’s words. I pray for healing in your story. Keep fighting. Keep showing up. Keep choosing joy. “Find God. There is no better way to overcome struggles and strife than by placing it in the hands of your Father. He made you just as you are and He loves more than you know. He can provide peace and comfort beyond understanding if you allow Him too,” Michelle said.
“Be kind to yourself, you are beautiful and you are worthy no matter what you have been through. Time is a gift, enjoy it while you have it!”- Michelle
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